Humor

Short-form humor pieces published in a range of venues, including McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, the Weekly Humorist, Points in Case, Muddyum, and others.

Weekly Humorist chose two of my pieces among its Best of 2023: Ten Sure-Bet Reality Shows Canceled After Initial Approval and FixDandy’s Totally Foolproof, Nearly Entirely Safe, and Probably Almost Legal DIY Guide to Ceiling Fan Replacement!. Also, Medium boosted my Muddyum story Yelp Reviews of Bad Restaurants, in Haiku.

2024

Missouri Senate Resolution on Duels, and Promoting Civilian Use of Shoulder-Held Missile Launchers, Muddyum, February 1, 2024.

How Ron DeSantis Will Spend All His New Free Time, Now That He’s No Longer Running for President, The Weekly Humorist, January 16, 2024.

Bestselling Titles of Newly-Released Porn Movies Starring Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Now That They’re in the Public Domain, Muddyum, January 16, 2024.


2023

College Football Coach Explains at Postgame Press Conference Why He Had Charlie Brown Take Potential Game-Winning Kick, The Weekly Humorist, December 28, 2023.

Yelp Reviews of Bad Restaurants, in Haiku, Muddyum, December 13, 2023.

Chief Justice John Roberts’s Guide to the New Supreme Court Ethics Code, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, November 16, 2023.

The True, Scandalous Confessions of Your Local Neighborhood (Petty) Crime Boss, Muddyum, November 14, 2023.

FixDandy’s Totally Foolproof, Nearly Entirely Safe, and Probably Almost Legal DIY Guide to Ceiling Fan Replacement, The Weekly Humorist, November 10, 2023.

Eviction Notice to the Unmanly Possum Living Under My Deck, Muddyum, October 29, 2023.

Title of a Great American Novel, or Jim Jordan and the Republican House Caucus?, The Haven, October 27, 2023.

Wirecutter Reviews: The Circles of Hell, Points In Case, September 30, 2023.

Elon Musk’s X Posts Rebutting the Totally, Absolutely, Undeniably False Charges of Antisemitism, The Haven, September 18, 2023.

Ten Sure-Bet Reality Shows Canceled After Initial Approval, Weekly Humorist, September 12, 2023.

An Unpaid Intern Blog-Promotes the Spud-Spackler II, The Haven, September 1, 2023.

Excerpts from Disney Character Diaries: Bambi Sits Shiva, Robot Butt, August 10, 2023.

How Dare You Haters Criticize My Hit Country Song, “Trump Will Kick Your Sorry Woke Asses,” Weekly Humorist, August 10, 2023

Great Movies Lines, as Re-Imagined by That Guy Brendan in Corporate Accounting, Humor Outcasts, July 24, 2023

As a Blue Light Bulb, I Applaud the Supreme Court Banning Affirmative Action in College Admissions, The Haven, July 3, 2023

Ron DeSantis’s Fourth of July Party Prep List, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, June 29, 2023.